The Journey – Day 7

The Journey – Day 7 

Learning new habits is easy when you separate yourself from everything familiar. I found it easier to do things like eat meals at home instead of going out so often. I discovered I don’t need TV when there is not one to watch. Reading has become more natural since there are fewer people with whom I can converse.

I’m actually thinking of things I want to do instead of always looking to do things for others. I still have a heart to serve. Giving is way of life for me. But now, I have the option of doing what I want instead of always yielding to the desire or wishes of others. It is no fault of the others. Many times they don’t even realize I’m giving in to their preferences. I have simply chosen to suppress my wants in order for others to have theirs.

This is ok until you reach a place where you no longer feel you have the right to what you want. Your needs go unmet, leaving you with feelings of unworthiness, being unfulfilled, even hopeless. I immediately heard the voice of many sermons expounding on the altruistic nature of living the Christian life. If we are to truly give up “everything” for Christ, why do we still make choices about what happens to us? We choose to earn money instead of being dependent on others to give us what we need. We buy a car because we choose to drive instead of walk everywhere we go. We have a preference on things like hairstyle, clothing, and personal care items (toothpaste, soap, shampoo, etc.). We can claim the name of Christ and still have an identity, including preferences, feelings, desires, etc.

I’m not playing the martyr card here. I made the choice to live the way I did. I gave up my right to have what I wanted because I thought it was more spiritual. I now understand my motives were based more on pride than on humility. I misunderstood the concept of priority vs. relinquishing. 

The key to living Christlike has to do with placing our relationship with Him first, then sort everything else out, including our own wants and desires. You don’t have to add a spiritual “spin” in order to justify them. Oh, how I wish I had learned this sooner.