It Goes Without Saying

I read a book recently that discussed the way we misinterpret information given us because we make wrong assumptions about the meaning. Much of our communication happens non-verbally. We see the facial tics when talking face to face (in person or electronically), or we hear the voice inflection to cue us in on the important things contained in the words. This is part of the "Goes Without Saying" aspect of communicating.

However, this only works when the people communicating share the same background, culture, experiences, etc. When these vary, the "Goes Without Saying" leads to major misunderstandings.

The female from a very affectionate (not sexually) family can send very wrong signals to a male she may spend time with, leading to embarrassing (or worse) situations. Someone from a culture that exudes courtesy could wind up getting played by another, taking advantage of their kindness.

People with similar cultural understanding and experiences can still have missteps in communications because of current moods or recent encounters. This is why we must be diligent in communication, every day, every conversation, every act.

Bottom line, the "Goes Without Saying" is in essence our prejudice (this word applies to much more than just race, socioeconomics, skin color, etc.). Our minds "pre-judge" (the meaning of prejudice) things every minute of every day. Every conversation, every personal encounter, is carried out with certain prejudices in play. This is the danger. We must be conscious of our words, actions, and even thoughts, because our response speaks volumes, even without saying a word.