Hope

Hope

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” Proverbs 13:12a (ESV)

Nothing is more frustrating, to me anyway, than to have your expectations go unmet, or at least put off until later. When you have set your mind on something, then that something is either no longer available, or is temporarily unattainable, it causes a great sense of loss even though you never had it to begin with. You have your mind, and mouth, all set for a tasty treat. You arrive at the restaurant or store to finally satisfy your craving only to find out it is not available. Hope deferred.

When it comes to trivial things like your favorite ice cream or cola it pales in comparison to things that really matter, like relationships, employment, or personal accomplishments. When you run into a series of events which continuously push the desired thing further from your reach, it begins to take a toll on you, mind, body, and spirit. The writer of the proverb describes it as a “sick heart.”

In today’s vernacular we might say depressed, or at least despondent. Others might say you’re in a bad mood. Regardless of how you describe it, the feelings are very real. The unfortunate truth is that some decide to deal with the issue by simply giving up hope. In their mind they rationalize that if they never attempt anything, then they cannot fail. If they never have a desire for something it will never go unfulfilled. This is no way to live. In fact, I would go further by saying you are not living, just prolonging death.

Here is the promise we have, which is found in the second half of the proverb cited.

“but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12b (ESV)

If we can somehow gain the courage and the tenacity to try one more time, to keep hope alive regardless of the delay, we can eventually see the desire fulfilled, the goal achieved, or obtain the thing desired. If you feel the need to quit, please reach out to someone for help. There are always options. There is always another inning to play. You still get one more time at bat. Regardless of the strike count, stay in the batter’s box for the next pitch. It could be the one.

Here is another way to approach your own deferred hope. Try helping someone else with their hopes and dreams. In the process, you may find yourself in that place of fulfilled expectations as well. Together is always better than alone. Find someone to walk with in pursuit of hope.

Once fulfilled, you can become a fountainhead of hope for others. Show others who may be struggling that there is still hope. It is still worth the effort to push forward. The price of quitting is too high; for you and those around you. This is when you become the “tree of life” for someone else.

The Process of Mourning

 The Process of Mourning

The main thing I have learned about mourning is that it is a personal journey that is unique to the individual. I’ve seen the five stages of grief (mourning) described: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These are simply observations that others have formulated to describe what they have seen in others. It’s not a law or rule which must be observed. They often come in various orders and random times, or not at all. There is no prescribed pattern.

I’ve also heard people place time limits on mourning (grief), saying it lasts a year, sometimes more. This also is determined by the individual. Some can process loss much differently than others. It would be wrong to make assumptions on how someone should grieve (mourn). You cannot know what is going on inside the person based on outward actions or appearance. Stop trying. Be there for them. Support them with your words and actions. Treat them as a human with feelings rather than a grieving machine, going through its program.

The most powerful tool needed by those grieving (mourning) is a friend with no agenda. When your only concern is the welfare of the one in mourning, you become an indispensable part of the healing process. Speak truth, not opinion. Give support, not commentary. Listen. The most important thing is to show up; and keep showing up. Calls, visits, cards, texts, etc. are all ways you can “be there.”

Avoid the elephant-in-the-room question of, “How are you?” If you know anything about their situation, then you already know how they are doing. If you don’t how they are doing, don’t ask. Also, there is a tendency to avoid talking about the reason for the grief. If there was a death, don’t shy away from speaking of the deceased. They were loved and are still loved. That’s the reason for grief.

Invite them to do things. They may say, “No”, but ask them anyway. It’s a struggle for some in mourning to be alone, yet they don’t want to invade other people’s events or outings. Encourage them to keep living, to get out, to experience life. Make them welcome and safe.

Even though everyone is different and may experience mourning (grief) differently, find a way to let them know you are available, and then be available. You will be a blessing, and will also be blessed.

Morning

 

Morning 

The start of a new day is full of promise 

What can be accomplished 

Who can I meet

Where can I go

When will true happiness be realized 

Why am I here

The day is spent in routine 

Doing the usual things 

With the usual people 

In the familiar places 

At the required times

For the same reasons 

This is not inherently bad 

Unless there is nothing gained 

No one impacted

No ground taken

Time spent with no return 

Living in a fog

All it takes is a decision 

To seek out your goals

With people who will motivate 

In places where you are celebrated 

For as long as it takes 

To fulfill your purpose 

The end of the day brings reflection 

Did anything get accomplished 

Was anyone affected 

Any terrain traversed

Time invested

Which brought me closer to THE reason 

Rest is needed instead of regret 

Because there’s still a what 

Many more whos 

Places unexplored 

By grace, more time 

But the same reason 

So sleep, dream, ponder, imagine 

Tomorrow could be the day …

God Ready to Pardon

 The latest installment in my writing project, The Names of God II

God Ready to Pardon

… but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not. Nehemiah 9:17b (KJV)

I’ve never been incarcerated. I cannot imagine what being imprisoned against your will would feel like. Once found guilty and a sentence pronounced over you, the only hope you have for a reprieve from the punishment meted out to you is to be pardoned or paroled.

In the United States and other western nations, we have a system of laws which govern the lives of its citizens. It is designed to maintain a civil society and protect that society from harm. When someone violates a statute they face the possibility of arrest, and if found guilty of the offense, placed in jail or prison for a prescribed amount of time, known as a sentence. The length of punishment is stated in the law and is up to the discretion of the judge and/or jury. This time varies by the severity of the offense. Some carry the ultimate penalty of death.

In the U.S., the Chief Executive Office, the President, has the ability to pardon anyone. Once pardoned, it is as though the individual had never committed the crime. The record is expunged; completely removed from the books.

God chose to implement a set of laws, the Old Testament, in order to show mankind that they could not live up to the standard required for fellowship with Him. This Law only had one punishment – death. It hardly seems amicable; especially since He knew mankind would not be able to keep the Law.

Because God is holy, you cannot enter His presence and live if you are in any way unholy. However, God invites us into His presence, so there must be a way for us to be holy, even though we are born with a sin nature and cannot live a holy life on our own. In the Law, God gave a remedy for sin. He created the practice of sacrifice where one could atone for their violation of any Law. Atone. It simply removed the penalty but did not acquit the offender.

This all changed under the New Testament. God put in motion a plan of redemption when He sent Jesus to become the ultimate sacrifice to pay the price for the ultimate penalty. He exchanged the life of the Son so that mankind could become the sons and daughters which God wanted in the first place. Now, through faith in Jesus Christ, we can be pardoned, not just forgiven!

This name for God, “God Ready to Pardon”, gives all of us hope, and speaks to the very nature and character of God. You do not have to earn this pardon. You cannot earn it. You do not have to pay an extreme price. You cannot afford it. You only have to accept the provision made for you when Jesus placed His own blood on the Mercy Seat when the price for sin was paid once for all. When we become identified with Christ our sin debt is cancelled and any record of it is expunged – as far as the east is from the west – and it is remembered no more.

The image many have of God is one of exacting justice on anyone found guilty of an offense. They envision Him waiting to squish them like a bug under His thumb. This causes fear to run from God. If we can only see Him for who He really is. God is waiting, but not to exact punishment. Instead, He is waiting, even calling out to us to receive the pardon He wants to give, so that we can approach Him and be restored to fellowship as friend to friend.

What a complete difference this can make in our lives, to know fully the One who knows us best. In Him, there is nothing hidden, nothing held back, and nothing else needed. Receive the “Pardon”, who is Jesus Christ, and begin to live the life for which you were created; one free of guilt, shame, and obligation. Instead, live a life of joy, peace, and wonder as you revel in the presence of the Creator. It will make all the difference.

Anticipation

 

Anticipation is a powerful force. It is motivating. It is life-giving. It keeps us moving forward. I read a study years ago about the emotional well-being of nursing home patients. It was very revealing. It focused on patients who had regular visitors. One group had visitors that would come regularly, but at random times. There was no schedule associated with the visits. The guests would simply pop in whenever they had time. The other group had regular visitors, but they kept to a schedule.

The study revealed the members of the second group had a better disposition than those in the first, even though both had visitors. The anticipation in the second group kept them in a better place emotionally because they had something to look forward to. “My son is coming tomorrow!” “My grandchildren will be here Saturday!” It gave more meaning to their day because of what they knew was coming.

Another story I heard was about a young boy who became very sick. The attending doctors were very concerned; death was a strong possibility. The boy’s teacher came to see him, and even brought the assignments they were doing in class.

The boy started on the assignments, even though he did not feel well, he stayed with the assignments, completing each one. His condition eventually improved. Upon being discharged, some asked, “Were you worried about dying?” He said, “I never knew I was dying. I assumed since my teacher brought my homework to me, I must be going to make it.”

What are you anticipating? Are you expecting good things? Are you looking for opportunities, or are you focused on the problems? See, worry is simply anticipation of the negative. Both will affect your mental state; one for good, one for bad.

Learn to look for something to live for instead of worrying about all the things trying to kill you. Go for a walk. Take a drive. Visit a friend. Clean out a closet. Buy a new shirt or blouse. Write a letter to yourself or someone else. Find a way to encourage another, and you will, by default, be encouraged. I hope today is one of your best days ever. It can be!

Choices

 

Each day we have an opportunity. We can live or we can exist. The choice is up to you. To simply exist doesn’t take much effort at all. Even without eating, your body could still function for many days before finally giving out. Existing and eating delays the inevitable, but nothing else is accomplished.

A choice is the only difference between living and existing. When you choose to live, you realize there are things which can be done that can enrich your life, or the life of others. To truly live, try doing both. These things can be as simple as a walk in the park or a trip to the gym. They can be as complex as conceiving a child or launching a business.

To impacting others can be simple or complex. Sending a card, making a phone call, providing a meal, or simply stopping by to see someone can be all that is needed to change a life. More complex things might be caring for a shut-in’s lawn, paying off a debt, or organizing a rally to do either of these.

Never let resources be an excuse for not living. Existing still costs money, but you get very little for your investment. Choose, instead, to invest in yourself and/or others and see the difference a choice can make.

Faith and Doubt

 

I’ve encountered a theology built on the need for doubt in order to grow faith. It is an interesting concept; one with which my conservative-trained mind had a very difficult time. I am not yet convinced of the validity of the whole “Four Stages of Spiritual Development” concept, but I find aspects of it rather intriguing.

Many years ago, I heard this statement: “The opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear.” Consider what Jesus said in Mark 4:40; “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” Doubt is not the enemy of faith. Faith is the enemy of fear.

Let’s take a look at the scientific process. 

1. Make an observation.

2. Ask a question.

3. Form a hypothesis, or testable explanation.

4. Make a prediction based on the hypothesis.

5. Test the prediction.

6. Iterate: use the results to make new hypotheses or predictions.

This has led to numerous advances in medicine, engineering, business; literally every aspect of human existence. Someone evaluates the current status of any area of interests. They research the existing “faith” in the knowledge currently available, dream about possibilities which may exist beyond that faith, and begin to “doubt” its validity.

This process is used every day in most every aspect of fabric of society, with one major exception: religion. There is no room in a community of faith for doubt. Those who guard the sacred tenets instill fear in those who would even dare question the faith. I do not believe that is what Jesus came to give mankind. His purpose was to draw men back to the Father. What has happened to His message since then is disheartening. In the exact same way the religious leaders in the four hundred years preceding Jesus Christ, many of the current religious leaders have built systems of laws (we now call them tenets, but it’s the same thing) to protect their institutions; to insure the continued existence and influence over humanity.

Jesus came saying things like, “Up until now you thought it was this way, but it’s actually another way.” He called on them to doubt their current beliefs in order to make room for a new set of truth. He didn’t instill fear by threatening them if they did not conform, but invited to drink and eat of Himself so that they might have life, and that life, more abundantly.

You don’t have to destroy faith in order to introduce doubt. They can actually coexist. The disciples even made the request of Jesus by saying, “We believe. Help our unbelief.” In other words, we have faith, but help us where we have doubt. Faith and doubt existing hand in hand.

It is sad that the one place where we should be able to express our doubts or questions regarding elements of the Christian faith should be in the church (little c). In my experience, if you show any sign of anything less than enthusiastic support for the tenets of the local body or denomination, you are immediately viewed as an infidel, and are encouraged to “get saved” because you must not have gotten it the first time.

The analogy of a growing child is employed by the writers of the New Testament. Speaking of being childlike in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but then growing up into a mature person. Humans allow children to have questions. They do not immediately cast a child out of the house if they show some kind of doubt about a closely-held belief of the family. Churches, however, do just that. How can someone truly grow up if they are not allowed to ask questions; yes, even hard questions that kick at the underpinning of our faith? If the foundation upon which we are attempting to build our lives is that fragile, maybe there is a need for questions.

I already hear the comments some of you are thinking. I’ve had the same ones. In a utopian world (even Christian) we have to leave room for doubt. Otherwise, we could end up with a faith built on presumption, or worse, falsehoods.

One of my favorite things to do during a conversation among people I know is to take an opposing view on whatever topic is being discussed. It can get ugly pretty quick until I assure them I’m only trying to provoke them to think about their responses instead of parroting some ideology they’ve been taught. We need to have conviction in what we believe, especially if we are attempting to convince others to join our movement. If we only have conversations with like-minded people we will never grow beyond where we find ourselves.

True spiritual maturity comes from doubt. Questioning our faith is not a sign of weakness, but an attempt to strengthen our foundation in what we believe. Finding faith in the beginning comes from the realization that there is something more than what I have experienced up to this point. In other words, you begin to doubt your current state. You either entertain new information you’ve heard, or you seek out new information to determine if your current understanding is valid.