John Eldridge once said, “The deepest wound we will experience in life is the father-wound.” I believe this. However, the greatest blessing you can receive on earth is the Father’s Blessing!
When a father messes up it can cause great harm to his children. This happens because it is wired in a child’s DNA by God to expect a blessing from their father. We see throughout scripture the power of a father’s blessing. It set the course for the rest of the child’s life. The words of a father, good or bad, penetrate deep into the soul of the child and either sets a foundation of stone upon which the child can build a life, or father-wounds can damage the life-building site in the heart of a child that some will never overcome.
Father’s Day is coming in a few days. It has often been a mixed bag of emotions for me – mostly from the lack of my father’s presence in my life. He died when I was nine. But even beyond that, Father’s Day reminds me of my experience of being a father. It is one of the greatest feelings I have ever experienced – to see a new life brought into the world, full of life and potential to accomplish anything their heart desires.
Father’s Day also brings back every memory of when I totally blew fathering. There were many times my children wanted to draw close and I, consciously or sub-consciously, pushed them away. Looking back, I believe it was due to my lack of confidence in my ability to show them the right way. Oh, how I wish there were some do-overs in life. I have approached each of my children through the years and apologized for the times I blew it. I hope it helped them, but I still live with the frustration of knowing I could have, and should have, done better.
This is where my faith in God has been my rescue. First of all, I know God, the greatest Father of them all, has forgiven me for my shortcomings. Secondly, He has promised to help my children when they call on Him. So, now my prayer is that they will (and have) found the grace to call on God to fix the places that I’ve messed up, and give them the ability to move beyond any “father-wounds” that I caused and, in turn, receive the Father’s Blessing for their life.
Dads, if you are avoiding your children because of the hurt you have caused your children, take Father’s Day this year as an opportunity to bless them. Tell them that you love them. It may be the hardest thing you will ever do, but do it. You both will be glad you did.
Children, if you are estranged from your father, take a step toward him. Let him know that, regardless of what has happened, you love him. It is not worth living life without the blessing of father-son or father-daughter relationships. It is NEVER too late.
If your father is no longer living, I challenge you to write him a letter and express all that you have in your heart, and bless him. Even if you do not feel he is deserving of your blessing, it will help you. I know this from experience. Do not continue to live your life with ill feelings toward your dad. If you need help with any of this then message me. I happen to know a great counselor that can lead you through this process and help you find a fuller, happier life. It is possible!
Happy Father’s Day!!