Setting the Standard

How does something become the standard?

Before the game of golf was invented, how did we measure hail?

Before sauerkraut was created, how did we know how cold something was?

It's curious how idioms develop in a language. The examples I gave are humorous, but they illustrate things to which we compare other things. Some of these are not as humorous.

When the United States first created its currency it was based on gold reserves. The amount of money in circulation was dependent on the amount of gold the U. S. Treasury had in the vault. In other words, we were solvent as a nation. When we moved away from the gold standard inflation was an immediate result.

Standards matter. Some standards never change. For Christians, the Bible is THE standard by which we shape our lives. Other standards are dictated by culture. Unfortunately, these standards change over time.

The lack of standards seems to be the norm these days, or perhaps it's just my age showing. There are many things in our Western culture that seem to have no prevailing standard by which things are measured. Most things are determined by the individual's "right" to be however they choose.

I know this didn't develop overnight. It has taken decades to arrive at this place. I wonder how long it will take the pendulum to swing the other direction? I hope within my lifetime.

Keeping Perspective

Years ago while helping with a seminar at our church, there were a few details that got dropped. Since I was responsible, I was fretting quite a bit, to the point of extreme frustration with myself. Evidently my frustration was apparent to those around me.

During one of the small group sessions (I did not lead a small group) the facilitator came to my office. I had retreated there to try to regroup. He came in and sat down. I immediately began apologizing for the errors. In a very solemn voice and calm demeanor he said, "Dudley, it all matters."

But before I could begin another round of apologies, he continued, "Just not very much."

He helped me learn a valuable lesson that night. While it is important to plan and execute the details, EVERYTHING is not critical to the mission. Sometimes you have to let some of the extraneous things slide to protect the success of the principle goal.

So, when things are not all going according to plan, I can hear Joe's words ring clear, "It all matters, just not very much." My measuring stick for importance has become this: Will it matter a year from now, ten years from now, or a hundred years from now?

Most things will not even matter tomorrow. Learn to let them go. First of all, you cannot change the facts of history. Learn from them so you do not repeat them, but let them go. Everyone will be better off if you will.

Trivial and Non-Trivial

My favorite college professor was Dr. Tom Cheatham. He spoke six words that changed my life as a young college student. "You have the aptitude for this." It was like the line that Don Rickles used when he appeared in an episode of The Andy Griffith Show. He said, "I'm not inept. I'm ept!"

No one in a position of influence in my life had ever said such words to me. It empowered me achieve great things in my studies of math and computer science. I have never been the same.

I took every course I could under Dr. Cheatham. He was such a good teacher, and showed great concern for all of his students, both in and out of the classroom.

One of my favorite phrases he used had to do with the difficulty of a particular problem or project. He categorized everything into one of two buckets: trivial and non-trivial. Sometimes his description was a little different than what I thought of the same problem, but you knew immediately when he said something was non-trivial you better grab your bootstraps, because it was going to get deep.

I believe this simple categorization has helped me in other areas of life. Most things we deal with are trivial. Even some of the more complicated issues we face are under the surface quite trivial. The problem comes when we treat EVERYTHING in life as non-trivial. I have met people that make everything hard. Any issue they face seems to be insurmountable.

Before making a decision about the difficulty of a particular thing you face try to keep things in perspective. Everything is not hard. Some things are trivial. Treat them as such and move on. Then when you face something that actually is non-trivial you have the energy and mental capacity to properly evaluate the circumstances, devise a solution, and execute a plan.

Non-trivial does not mean impossible. It simply means it will take some time and effort to accomplish.

Shaping Your Narrative

We observe in the national media the attempt to shape the narrative of a particular subject. This is done overtly by organizations like the Associated Press dictating language that has to be used or cannot be used when reporting certain subjects. Other news outlets are given "talking points" by "their side" (both left and right) to include in the news cycle for the day. These are some of the reasons I no longer watch network news on TV.

We, as individuals, do not have the luxury of an organization to help us shape our narrative. We must rely on our own conversation and lifestyle to speak for us. We may not have a national audience, but people are watching - your family, spouse, children, friends, enemies, coworkers, etc. Some are watching to learn because they see the success in your life. Some watch in hopes to see you stumble. Others see you by chance and need to catch you at your best.

Consistently walking out your convictions is difficult. We all have bad days. We all are presented with circumstances that strain us to the breaking point. It is in these moments that our real selves are revealed. It is in these times where our core values are tested.

It is important for us to work on our narrative when life is good. Because when the heat is on, there is no time to develop your beliefs, only to reveal what is already there.

It Goes Without Saying

I read a book recently that discussed the way we misinterpret information given us because we make wrong assumptions about the meaning. Much of our communication happens non-verbally. We see the facial tics when talking face to face (in person or electronically), or we hear the voice inflection to cue us in on the important things contained in the words. This is part of the "Goes Without Saying" aspect of communicating.

However, this only works when the people communicating share the same background, culture, experiences, etc. When these vary, the "Goes Without Saying" leads to major misunderstandings.

The female from a very affectionate (not sexually) family can send very wrong signals to a male she may spend time with, leading to embarrassing (or worse) situations. Someone from a culture that exudes courtesy could wind up getting played by another, taking advantage of their kindness.

People with similar cultural understanding and experiences can still have missteps in communications because of current moods or recent encounters. This is why we must be diligent in communication, every day, every conversation, every act.

Bottom line, the "Goes Without Saying" is in essence our prejudice (this word applies to much more than just race, socioeconomics, skin color, etc.). Our minds "pre-judge" (the meaning of prejudice) things every minute of every day. Every conversation, every personal encounter, is carried out with certain prejudices in play. This is the danger. We must be conscious of our words, actions, and even thoughts, because our response speaks volumes, even without saying a word.

Nationalism and Election Day

Today is election day in the United States. I hope you vote. It is the primary way we can help shape our government. It is the duty of every American to use this right to voice their opinion on laws and policy which our political leaders will pursue.

Much has been said about nationalism in the past few weeks; most of it negative. It is a good word that has been caught up in the political churn and made into a bad word. Nationalism simply means, "patriotic feeling, principles, or efforts." Recently the meaning has been changed to add, "... and hate all other countries, and the people of those countries." In other words, ethnic prejudice.

Part of the reason for this change is due to our inability to tolerate anything that is different than our own views or opinions. For some, if you say, "I love American," it implies that you hate everything else. That would be the equivalent of saying, "I love my wife, therefore I hate my mother, my sister, or any other woman." That is just not true for most.

It is possible to love something without hating everything else. But, one of the most effective political tools of late is that of "hate". We have passed laws called "Hate Crimes" as though that will make the punishment worse. One of the more disconcerting developments is the term "Hate Speech." If you even say something deemed "hateful" by another you can suffer dire consequences.

It is unfortunate that society has devolved to this level. We need to find a way to be civil again, and not feel the need to attack anyone that does not agree with our ideals.

So, vote. Vote your heart. Vote your passion. Vote your conscience. Vote your beliefs. But vote. It is the most patriotic (and nationalistic) thing to do.

Presumption, the Step-Child of Prejudice

Prejudice is a scourge on our society. It has been for centuries, even millennia, but longevity does not equal justifiable. Great strides have been made in the past 200 years or so to reduce, and in some cases, eliminate prejudice, but it is still there. We must be vigilant in our effort to remove it, first from our own thinking and behavior, then that of our systems of government, commerce, and faith.

There is a closely related blight that is not directed toward a particular people group, and anyone can be found guilty of this. It's call presumption. A few examples:

1) You're late for a meeting because you were not finished eating. It's ok. Everyone will not mind waiting for you.

Wrong! They did not finish their meal so they would be on time. You were operating in presumption.

2) You're in a hurry to get home to watch a program you had on your calendar for two weeks. The line is long at the register so you break line. Everyone will understand because you are in a hurry.

Wrong! They need to get to the daycare to pick up children, or headed home with the medicine they are waiting to purchase to give to a sick loved one. That is presumption.

There are many, MANY more examples, but you get the point. Presumption is any time you project your thoughts onto another. Be considerate of others. You are not the only person on the planet. Just because it makes your life more convenient does not make it right. You do not know what others think.

Before presuming your will on others, ask. Most people are kind, and if possible, will prefer another over their own convenience. But ask.