You've all seen them. Here are some of my favorite. Feel free to add more in the comments.
The
Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. 
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The
sermon this morning:  'Jesus Walks on the
Water.'  The sermon tonight:  'Searching for Jesus.' 
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Ladies,
don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a
chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands. 
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Remember
in prayer the many who are sick of our community.  Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much
about you. 
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Don't
let worry kill you off - let the Church help. 
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Miss
Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure
to the congregation. 
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For
those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next
Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. 
They need all the help they can get. 
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Irving
Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their
school days. 
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A
bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow. 
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At
the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight
new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members
and to the deterioration of some older ones. 
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Scouts
are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 
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Please
place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want
remembered. 
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The
church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck
supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. 
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The
ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They may be seen in the basement on Friday
afternoon. 
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This
evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
Church.  Bring a blanket and come
prepared to sin. 
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Ladies
Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.  All ladies are invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. 
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The
pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him
their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 
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Low
Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door. 
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The
eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement
Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is
invited to attend this tragedy. 
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Weight
Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side
entrance. 
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The
Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 
"I
Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".